THE PATRIOTIC SMOKER'S LAMENT.
Tell me, shade of Walter Raleigh,
Briton of the truest type,
When that too devoted valet
Quenched your first-recorded pipe,
Were you pondering the opinion,
As you watched the airy coil,
That the virtue of Virginia
Might be bred in British soil?
You transplanted the potato,
'Twas a more enduring gift
Than the wisdom of a Plat
To our poverty and thrift.
That respected root has flourished
Nobly for a nation's need,
But our brightest dreams are nourished
Ever on a foreign weed.
From the deepest meditation
Of the philosophic scribe,
From the poet's inspiration,
For the cynic's polished gibe,
We invoke narcotic nurses
In their jargon from afar,
I indite these modest verses
On a polyglot cigar.
Leaf that lulls a Turkish Aga
May a scholar's soul renew,
Fancy spring from Larranaga,
History from honey-dew.
When the teacher and the tyro
Spirit-manna fondly seek,
'Tis the cigarette from Cairo,
Or a compound from the Greek.
But no British-born aroma
Is fit incense to the Queen,
Nature gives her best diploma
To the alien nicotine.
We are doomed to her ill-favor,
For the plant that's native grown
Has a patriotic flavor
Too exclusively our own.
O my country, could your smoker
Boast your "shag," or even "twist,"
Every man were mediocre
Save the blest tobacconist!
He will point immortal morals,
Make all common praises mute,
Who shall win our grateful laurels
With a national cheroot.
_The St. James Gazette_.
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PIPE AND TOBACCO.
When my pipe burns bright and clear, The gods I need not envy here; And as the smoke fades in the wind, Our fleeting life it brings to mind. Noble weed! that comforts life, And art with calmest pleasures rife; Heaven grant thee ... PIPES AND BEER.
Before I was famous I used to sit In a dull old under-ground room I knew, And sip cheap beer, and be glad for it, With a wild Bohemian friend or two. And oh, it was joy to loiter thus, At peace in the heart of the city's stir... SEASONABLE SWEETS.
"_DON'T BE FLOWERY, JACOB._"--CHARLES DICKENS. When the year is young, what sweets are flung By the violets, hiding, dim, And the lilac that sways her censers high, Whilst the skylark chants a hymn! How sweet is the scent of the ... SHE.
The hateful man! 'Twould vex a saint! Around my pretty, cherished book, The odor vile, the noisome taint Of horrid, stale tobacco-smoke Yet lingers! The hateful man, my book to spoil! Patrick, the tongs--lest I should ... SIC TRANSIT.
Just a note that I found on my table, By the bills of a year buried o'er, In a feminine hand and requesting My presence for tennis at four. Half remorseful for leaving it lying In surroundings unworthy as those, I carefully ... SMOKE AND CHESS.
We were sitting at chess as the sun went down; And he, from his meerschaum's glossy brown, With a ring of smoke made his king a crown. The cherry stem, with its amber tip, Thoughtfully rested on his lip, As the goblet's rim from wh... SMOKE IS THE FOOD OF LOVERS.
When Cupid open'd shop, the trade he chose Was just the very one you might suppose. Love keep a shop?--his trade, oh! quickly name! A dealer in tobacco--fie, for shame! No less than true, and set aside all joke, From oldest time he e... SMOKING AWAY.
Floating away like the fountains' spray, Or the snow-white plume of a maiden, The smoke-wreaths rise to the starlit skies With blissful fragrance laden. _Chorus._ Then smoke away till a golden ray Lights up the dawn of t... SMOKING SONG.
With grateful twirl our smoke-wreaths curl, As mist from the waterfall given, Or the locks that float round beauty's throat In the whispering air of even. _Chorus_. Then drown the fears of the coming years, And the dread of c... SMOKING SPIRITUALIZED.
The following old poem was long ascribed, on apparently sufficient grounds, to the Rev. Ralph Erskine, or, as he designated himself, "Ralph Erskine, V.D.M." The peasantry throughout the North of England always called it "Erskine ... SONG OF THE SMOKE-WREATHS.
_SUNG TO THE SMOKERS._ Not like clouds that cap the mountains, Not like mists that mask the sea, Not like vapors round the fountains,-- Soft and clear and warm are we. Hear the tempest, how its minions Tear the clouds and ... SUBLIME TOBACCO.
But here the herald of the self-same mouth Came breathing o'er the aromatic South, Not like a "bed of violets" on the gale, But such as wafts its cloud o'er grog or ale, Borne from a short, frail pipe, which yet had blown Its gentle ... SWEET SMOKING PIPE.
Sweet smoking pipe; bright glowing stove, Companion still of my retreat, Thou dost my gloomy thoughts remove, And purge my brain with gentle heat. Tobacco, charmer of my mind, When, like the meteor's transient gleam. Thy s... THE BALLAD OF THE PIPE.
Oh, give me but Virginia's weed, An earthen bowl, a stem of reed, What care I for the weather? Though winter freeze and summer broil We rest us from our days of toil My Pipe and I together! Like to a priest of sacred fane, ... THE BALLADE OF TOBACCO.
When verdant youth sees life afar, And first sets out wild oats to sow, He puffs a stiff and stark cigar, And quaffs champagne of Mumm & Co. He likes not smoking yet; but though Tobacco makes him sick indeed, Cigars and wine... THE BETROTHED.
"_YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN ME AND YOUR CIGAR._" Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout, For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out. We quarrelled about Havanas--we fought o'er a good cheroot, And I know she is exacti... THE CIGAR.
Some sigh for this and that, My wishes don't go far; The world may wag at will, So I have my cigar. Some fret themselves to death With Whig and Tory jar; I don't care which is in, So I have my cigar. Sir John req... THE DISCOVERY OF TOBACCO.
_A SAILOR'S VERSION_. They were three jolly sailors bold, Who sailed across the sea; They'd braved the storm, and stood the gale, And got to Virgin-ee. ... THE DISCOVERY OF TOBACCO.
'Twas in the days of good Queen Bess,-- Or p'raps a bit before,-- And now these here three sailors bold Went cruising on the shore. A lurch to starboard, one to port, Now forrard, boys, go we, With a haul and a "Ho!" and a "... THE DREAMER'S PIPE.
Meerschaum, thing with amber tip, Clutched between the dreamer's lip, Fragrant odors from thy bowl Mingling with the dreamer's soul; Curling wreaths of smoke ascending, Comfort sweet with incense blending. Joy and peace and solace... THE DUET.
I was smoking a cigarette; Maud, my wife, and the tenor, McKey, Were singing together a blithe duet, And days it were better I should forget Came suddenly back to me,-- Days when life seemed a gay masque ball, And to love and ... THE FARMER'S PIPE.
Make a picture, dreamy smoke, In my still and cosey room; From the fading past evoke Forms that breathe of summer's bloom. Bashful Will and rosy Nell-- Ah, I watch them now at play By the mossy wayside well As I did t... THE HAPPY SMOKING-GROUND.
When that last pipe is smoked at last And pouch and pipe put by, And Smoked and Smoker both alike In dust and ashes lie, What of the Smoker? Whither passed? Ah, will he smoke no more? And will there be no golden cloud U... THE LAST PIPE.
When head is sick and brain doth swim, And heavy hangs each unstrung limb, 'Tis sweet through smoke-puffs, wreathing slow, To watch the firelight flash or glow. As each soft cloud floats up on high, Some worry takes its wings to fly;... THE LATEST CONVERT.
I've been in love some scores of times, With Amy, Nellie, Katie, Mary-- To name them all would stretch my rhymes From here as far as Demerary. But each has wed some other man,-- Girls always do, I find, in real life,-- And... THE LOST LOTUS.
'Tis said that in the sun-embroidered East, There dwelt a race whose softly flowing hours Passed like the vision of a royal feast, By Nero given in the Baian bowers; Thanks to the lotus-blossom spell, Their lives were one long mi... THE OLD CLAY PIPE.
There's a lot of solid comfort In an old clay pipe, I find, If you're kind of out of humor Or in trouble in your mind. When you're feeling awful lonesome And don't know just what to do, There's a heap of satisfaction If... THE PATRIOTIC SMOKER'S LAMENT.
Tell me, shade of Walter Raleigh, Briton of the truest type, When that too devoted valet Quenched your first-recorded pipe, Were you pondering the opinion, As you watched the airy coil, That the virtue of Virginia Might... THE PIPE CRITIC.
Say, pipe, let's talk of love; Canst aid me? By my life, I'll ask not gods above To help me choose a wife; But to thy gentle self I'll give the puzzling strife. Thy color let me find, And blue like ... THE PIPE YOU MAKE YOURSELF.
There's clay pipes an' briar pipes an' meerschaum pipes as well, There's plain pipes an' fancy pipes--things jes made to sell; But any pipe that kin be bought fer marbles, chalk, or pelf, Ain't ekal to the flaver of th' pipe you make yours... THE SCENT OF A GOOD CIGAR.
What is it comes through the deepening dusk,-- Something sweeter than jasmine scent, Sweeter than rose and violet blent, More potent in power than orange or musk? The scent of a good cigar. I am all alone in my quiet room, And t... THE SMOKE TRAVELLER.
When I puff my cigarette, Straight I see a Spanish girl,-- Mantilla, fan, coquettish curl, Languid airs and dimpled face, Calculating, fatal grace; Hear a twittering serenade Under lofty balcony played; Queen at b... THE SMOKER'S CALENDAR.
When January's cold appears, A glowing pipe my spirit cheers; And still it glads the length'ning day 'Neath February's milder sway. When March's keener winds succeed, What charms me like the burning weed When April mounts the sola... THE SMOKER'S REVERIE.
(_OCTOBER._) I'm sitting at dusk 'neath the old beechen tree, With its leaves by the autumn made ripe; While they cling to the stems like old age unto life, I dream of the days when I'll rest from this strife, And in peace smoke my... THE TRUE LEUCOTHOE.
Let others praise the god of wine, Or Venus, love, and beauty's smile; I choose a theme not less divine,-- The plant that grows in Cuba's Isle. The old Greeks err'd who bound with bays Apollo's brow; the verdant crown He w... THOSE ASHES.
Up to the frescoed ceiling The smoke of my cigarette In a sinuous spray is reeling, Forming flower and minaret. What delicious landscape floating On perfumed wings I see; Pale swans I am idly noting, And queens robed ... TITLEPAGE DEDICATION.
"Let those smoke now who never smoked before, And those who always smoked--now smoke the more." ... TO A PIPE OF TOBACCO.
Come, lovely tube, by friendship blest, Belov'd and honored by the wise, Come filled with honest "Weekly's best," And kindled from the lofty skies. While round me clouds of incense roll, With guiltless joys you charm the sens... TO AN OLD PIPE.
Once your smoothly polished face Nestled lightly in a case; 'Twas a jolly cosy place, I surmise; And a zealous subject blew On your cheeks, until they grew To the fascinating hue Of her eyes. Near a r... TO C.F. BRADFORD.
_ON THE GIFT OF A MEERSCHAUM PIPE._ The pipe came safe, and welcome, too, As anything must be from you; A meerschaum pure, 'twould float as light As she the girls called Amphitrite. Mixture divine of foam and clay, From both it st... TO MY CIGAR.
Yes, social friend, I love thee well, In learned doctor's spite; Thy clouds all other clouds dispel, And lap me in delight. What though they tell, with phizzes long, My years are sooner past! I would reply with reason stro... TO MY CIGAR.
The warmth of thy glow, Well-lighted cigar, Makes happy thoughts flow, And drives sorrow afar. The stronger the wind blows, The brighter thou burnest! The dreariest of life's woes, Less gloomy thou turnest! As I fe... TO MY MEERSCHAUM.
There's a charm in the sun-crested hills, In the quivering light of a star, In the flash of a silvery rill, Yet to me thou art lovelier far, My Meerschaum! There's a love in her witching dark eye, There's a love ... TO SEE HER PIPE AWRY.
Betty bouncer kept a stall At the corner of a street, And she had a smile for all. Many were the friends she'd greet With kindly nod on passing by, Who, smiling, saw her pipe awry. Poor old lass! she loved her pipe, A c... TO THE REV. MR. NEWTON.
Says the Pipe to the Snuff-box, "I can't understand What the ladies and gentlemen see in your face, That you are in fashion all over the land, And I am so much fallen into disgrace. "Do but see what a pretty contemplative air ... TO THE TOBACCO PIPE.
Dear piece of fascinating clay! 'Tis thine to smooth life's rugged way, To give a happiness unknown To those--who let a pipe alone; Thy tube can best the vapors chase, By raising--others in their place; Can give the face staid Wis... TOBACCO IS AN INDIAN WEED.
Tobacco's but an Indian weed, Grows green at morn, cut down at eve; It shows decay; we are but clay; Think of this when you smoke tobacco. The pipe that is so lily white, Wherein so many take delight, Is broke with a touch,--man... TOBACCO.
The Indian weed, withered quite, Green at noon, cut down at night, Shows thy decay; all flesh is hay, Thus thinke, then drinke tobacco. The pipe that is so lily-white, Shows thee to be a mortal wight; And even such, gone with a ... TOBACCO.
Let poets rhyme of what they will, Youth, Beauty, Love, or Glory, still My theme shall be Tobacco! Hail, weed, eclipsing every flow'r, Of thee I fain would make my bow'r, When fortune frowns, or tempests low'r, Mild co... TOO GREAT A SACRIFICE.
The maid, as by the papers doth appear, Whom fifty thousand dollars made so dear, To test Lothario's passion, simply said, "Forego the weed before we go to wed. For smoke, take flame; I'll be that flame's bright fanner. To have your ... TWO OTHER HEARTS.
Full tender beamed the light of love down from his manly face, As he pressed her to his bosom in a fervent, fond embrace. No cost of others' happiness found place within his thought; The weakness of life's brittle thread no dim forebodi... VIRGINIA TOBACCO.
Two maiden dames of sixty-two Together long had dwelt; Neither, alas! of love so true The bitter pang had felt. But age comes on, they say, apace, To warn us of our death, And wrinkles mar the fairest face,-- At last ... VIRGINIA'S KINGLY PLANT.
_BY AN "OLD SALT."_ Oh, muse! grant me the power (I have the will) to sing How oft in lonely hour, When storms would round me lower, Tobacco's proved a king! Philanthropists, no doubt With good intentions ripe, Their dogma... WHAT I LIKE.
To lie with half-closed eyes, as in a dream, Upon the grassy bank of some calm stream-- And smoke. To climb with daring feet some rugged rock, And sit aloft where gulls and curlews flock-- And smoke. To wan...