A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all ... Read more of Unusual order at Free Jokes.caInformational Site Network Informational
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Smoking Poems

Knickerbocker.
Shade of Herrick, Muse of Locker, Help me sing of Knic...

A Warning.
HE. I loathe all books. I hate to see The world a...

A Good Cigar.
Oh, 'tis well and enough, A whiff or a puff From th...

The Smoke Traveller.
When I puff my cigarette, Straight I see a Spanish g...

The Ballad Of The Pipe.
Oh, give me but Virginia's weed, An earthen bowl, a st...

My Cigarette.
_WORDS AND MUSIC BY RICHARD BARNARD_. To my sweet ciga...

To My Cigar.
Yes, social friend, I love thee well, In learned doc...

In Rotten Row.
In Rotten Row a cigarette I sat and smoked, with no re...

The Latest Convert.
I've been in love some scores of times, With Amy, Ne...

The Happy Smoking-ground.
When that last pipe is smoked at last And pouch and ...

On A Tobacco Jar.
Three hundred years ago or soe, One worthy knight an...

Maecenas Bids His Friend To Dine.
I beg you come to-night and dine. A welcome waits you, a...

Motto For A Tobacco Jar.
Come! don't refuse sweet Nicotina's aid, But woo the...

The Smoker's Reverie.
(_OCTOBER._) I'm sitting at dusk 'neath the old beeche...

My Cigar.
In spite of my physician, who is, _entre nous_, a fogy, ...

My Little Brown Pipe.
I have a little comforter, I carry in my pocket: ...

The Discovery Of Tobacco.
'Twas in the days of good Queen Bess,-- Or p'raps a ...

A Bachelor's Views.
A pipe, a book, A cosy nook, A fire,--at least ...

The Betrothed.
"_YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN ME AND YOUR CIGAR._" Open the ...

Ad Nicotina.
"_A CONSTRAINED HYPERBOLE._" Let others sing the prais...



MY FRIENDLY PIPE.








Let sybarites still dream delights
While smoking cigarettes,
Whose opiates get in their pates
Till waking brings regrets;
Oh, let them doze, devoid of woes,
Of troubles, and of frets.

And let the chap who loves to nap
With his cigar in hand
Pursue his way, and live his day,
As runs time's changing sand;
Let him delight by day and night
In his peculiar brand.

But as for me, I love to be
Provided with a pipe,--
A rare old bowl to warm my soul,
A meerschaum brown and ripe,--
With good plug cut, no stump or butt,
Nor filthy gutter-snipe.

My joys increase! It brings me peace
As nothing else can do;
From all the strife of daily life
Here my relief is true.
I watch its rings; it purrs and sings--
And then it's cheaper, too!

_Detroit Tribune_.





Next: ODE TO TOBACCO.

Previous: A GOOD CIGAR.



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