A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all ... Read more of Unusual order at Free Jokes.caInformational Site Network Informational
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Smoking Poems

A Bachelor's Soliloquy.
I sit all alone with my pipe by the fire, I ne'er kn...

To An Old Pipe.
Once your smoothly polished face Nestled lightly in a ...

Smoke And Chess.
We were sitting at chess as the sun went down; And he,...

Henry Fielding.
Friend of my youth, companion of my later days. Wh...

My Meerschaum Pipe.
Old meerschaum pipe, I'll fondly wipe Thy scarred an...

Sweet Smoking Pipe.
Sweet smoking pipe; bright glowing stove, Companion ...

The Scent Of A Good Cigar.
What is it comes through the deepening dusk,-- Somethi...

It May Be Weeds.
It may be weeds I've gathered too; But even weeds...

Song Of The Smoke-wreaths.
_SUNG TO THE SMOKERS._ Not like clouds that cap the mo...

To The Rev. Mr. Newton.
Says the Pipe to the Snuff-box, "I can't understand ...

On Receipt Of A Rare Pipe.
I lifted off the lid with anxious care, Removed the ...

In Wreaths Of Smoke.
In wreaths of smoke, blown waywardwise, Faces of o...

Cannon Song.
And it has turned since you and I Set out to face th...

Chibouque.
At Yeni-Djami, after Rhamadan, The pacha in his pala...

Her Brother's Cigarette.
Like raven's wings her locks of jet, Her soft eyes tou...

The Duet.
I was smoking a cigarette; Maud, my wife, and the te...

My Friendly Pipe.
Let sybarites still dream delights While smoking cig...

A Winter Evening Hymn To My Fire.
Nicotia, dearer to the Muse Than all the grape's bewil...

A Pipe Of Tobacco.
Let the learned talk of books, The glutton...

My Pipe And I.
There may be comrades in this world, As stanch and t...



MEERSCHAUM.








Come to me, O my meerschaum,
For the vile street organs play;
And the torture they're inflicting
Will vanish quite away.

I open my study window
And into the twilight peer,
And my anxious eyes are watching
For the man with my evening beer.

In one hand is the shining pewter,
All amber the ale doth glow;
In t'other are long "churchwardens,"
As spotless and pure as snow.

Ah! what would the world be to us
Tobaccoless?--Fearful bore!
We should dread the day after to-morrow
Worse than the day before.

As the elephant's trunk to the creature,
Is the pipe to the man, I trow;
Useful and meditative
As the cud to the peaceful cow.

So to the world is smoking;
Through that we feel, with bliss
That, whatever worlds come after,
A jolly old world is this.

Come to me, O my meerschaum,
And whisper to me here,
If you like me better than coffee,
Than grog, or the bitter beer.

Oh! what are our biggest winnings,
If peaceful content we miss?
Though fortune may give us an innings
She seldom conveys us bliss.

You're better than all the fortunes
That ever were made or broke;
For a penny will always fill
And buy me content with a smoke.





Next: WRONGFELLOW.

Previous: AD NICOTINA.



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