While working on a sermon the pastor heard a knock at his office door. "Come in," he invited. A sad-looking man in threadbare clothes came in, pulling a large pig on a rope. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" asked the... Read more of So You Think You've Had A Bad Day! at Free Jokes.caInformational Site Network Informational
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Smoking Poems

Pipes And Beer.
Before I was famous I used to sit In a dull old unde...

Seasonable Sweets.
"_DON'T BE FLOWERY, JACOB._"--CHARLES DICKENS. When th...

Choosing A Wife By A Pipe Of Tobacco.
Tube, I love thee as my life; By thee I mean to choose...

A Brief Puff Of Smoke.
Great Doctor Parr, the learned Whig, Ne'er deemed the ...

If I Were King.
If I were king, my pipe should be premier. The skies o...

The Discovery Of Tobacco.
'Twas in the days of good Queen Bess,-- Or p'raps a ...

Epitaph
_ON A YOUNG LADY WHO DESIRED THAT TOBACCO MIGHT BE PLANTED OV...

Ashes.
Wrapped in a sadly tattered gown, Alone I puff my brie...

My Cigarette.
My cigarette! The amulet That charms afar unrest and...

A Poet's Pipe.
_FROM THE FRENCH OF CHARLES BAUDELAIRE._ A poet's pipe...

A Pipe Of Tobacco.
Let the learned talk of books, The glutton...

In The Ol' Tobacker Patch.
I jess kind o' feel so lonesome that I don't know what to...

The Old Clay Pipe.
There's a lot of solid comfort In an old clay pipe, ...

A Pot, And A Pipe Of Tobacco.
Some praise taking snuff; And 'tis pleasant en...

Meerschaum.
Come to me, O my meerschaum, For the vile street organ...

Maecenas Bids His Friend To Dine.
I beg you come to-night and dine. A welcome waits you, a...

A Pipe Of Tobacco.
Let the toper regale in his tankard of ale, Or with ...

To My Cigar.
Yes, social friend, I love thee well, In learned doc...

Confession Of A Cigar Smoker.
I owe to smoking, more or less, Through life the whole...

Her Brother's Cigarette.
Like raven's wings her locks of jet, Her soft eyes tou...



MAECENAS BIDS HIS FRIEND TO DINE.








I beg you come to-night and dine.
A welcome waits you, and sound wine,--
The Roederer chilly to a charm,
As Juno's breath the claret warm,
The sherry of an ancient brand.
No Persian pomp, you understand,--
A soup, a fish, two meats, and then
A salad fit for aldermen
(When aldermen, alas the days!
Were really worth their _mayonnaise_);
A dish of grapes whose clusters won
Their bronze in Carolinian sun;
Next, cheese--for you the Neufchatel,
A bit of Cheshire likes me well;
Cafe au lait or coffee black,
With Kirsch or Kuemmel or cognac
(The German band in Irving Place
By this time purple in the face);
Cigars and pipes. These being through,
Friends shall drop in, a very few--
Shakespeare and Milton, and no more.
When these are guests I bolt the door,
With "Not at home" to any one
Excepting Alfred Tennyson.

ANON.





Next: TO MY MEERSCHAUM.

Previous: IN THE OL' TOBACKER PATCH.



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