THE BALLADE OF TOBACCO.
When verdant youth sees life afar, And first sets out wild oats to sow, He puffs a stiff and stark cigar, And quaffs champagne of Mumm & Co. He likes not smoking yet; but though Tobacco makes him sick indeed, Cigars and wine... THE BETROTHED.
"_YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN ME AND YOUR CIGAR._" Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout, For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out. We quarrelled about Havanas--we fought o'er a good cheroot, And I know she is exacti... THE CIGAR.
Some sigh for this and that, My wishes don't go far; The world may wag at will, So I have my cigar. Some fret themselves to death With Whig and Tory jar; I don't care which is in, So I have my cigar. Sir John req... THE DISCOVERY OF TOBACCO.
_A SAILOR'S VERSION_. They were three jolly sailors bold, Who sailed across the sea; They'd braved the storm, and stood the gale, And got to Virgin-ee. ... THE DISCOVERY OF TOBACCO.
'Twas in the days of good Queen Bess,-- Or p'raps a bit before,-- And now these here three sailors bold Went cruising on the shore. A lurch to starboard, one to port, Now forrard, boys, go we, With a haul and a "Ho!" and a "... THE DREAMER'S PIPE.
Meerschaum, thing with amber tip, Clutched between the dreamer's lip, Fragrant odors from thy bowl Mingling with the dreamer's soul; Curling wreaths of smoke ascending, Comfort sweet with incense blending. Joy and peace and solace... THE DUET.
I was smoking a cigarette; Maud, my wife, and the tenor, McKey, Were singing together a blithe duet, And days it were better I should forget Came suddenly back to me,-- Days when life seemed a gay masque ball, And to love and ... THE FARMER'S PIPE.
Make a picture, dreamy smoke, In my still and cosey room; From the fading past evoke Forms that breathe of summer's bloom. Bashful Will and rosy Nell-- Ah, I watch them now at play By the mossy wayside well As I did t... THE HAPPY SMOKING-GROUND.
When that last pipe is smoked at last And pouch and pipe put by, And Smoked and Smoker both alike In dust and ashes lie, What of the Smoker? Whither passed? Ah, will he smoke no more? And will there be no golden cloud U... THE LAST PIPE.
When head is sick and brain doth swim, And heavy hangs each unstrung limb, 'Tis sweet through smoke-puffs, wreathing slow, To watch the firelight flash or glow. As each soft cloud floats up on high, Some worry takes its wings to fly;... THE LATEST CONVERT.
I've been in love some scores of times, With Amy, Nellie, Katie, Mary-- To name them all would stretch my rhymes From here as far as Demerary. But each has wed some other man,-- Girls always do, I find, in real life,-- And... THE LOST LOTUS.
'Tis said that in the sun-embroidered East, There dwelt a race whose softly flowing hours Passed like the vision of a royal feast, By Nero given in the Baian bowers; Thanks to the lotus-blossom spell, Their lives were one long mi... THE OLD CLAY PIPE.
There's a lot of solid comfort In an old clay pipe, I find, If you're kind of out of humor Or in trouble in your mind. When you're feeling awful lonesome And don't know just what to do, There's a heap of satisfaction If... THE PATRIOTIC SMOKER'S LAMENT.
Tell me, shade of Walter Raleigh, Briton of the truest type, When that too devoted valet Quenched your first-recorded pipe, Were you pondering the opinion, As you watched the airy coil, That the virtue of Virginia Might... THE PIPE CRITIC.
Say, pipe, let's talk of love; Canst aid me? By my life, I'll ask not gods above To help me choose a wife; But to thy gentle self I'll give the puzzling strife. Thy color let me find, And blue like ...

"A FREE PUFF." MY CIGARETTE. MY CIGARETTE. ENVOI. A BACHELOR'S VIEWS. A WARNING. WHAT I LIKE. MY MEERSCHAUMS.

TITLEPAGE DEDICATION. IN THE OL' TOBACKER PATCH. IT MAY BE WEEDS. GEORDIE TO HIS TOBACCO-PIPE. EFFUSION BY A CIGAR SMOKER. MAECENAS BIDS HIS FRIEND TO DINE. A BACHELOR'S SOLILOQUY. A SONG WITHOUT A NAME.