Primus To His Uncle
Though we all pretended to be glad when Primus went, we spoke of him
briefly at times, and I read his letters aloud at our evening meetings.
Here is a series of them from my desk. Primus was now a year and a half
older and his spelling had improved.
I.
_November 16th._
DEAR UNCLE:--Though I have not written to you for a long time I often
think about y
I beg to state that my mother will have informed you I am well and happy
but a little overworked, as I am desirous of pleasing my preceptor by
obtaining a credible position in the exams, and we breakfast at 7:30
sharp. I suppose you are to give me a six-shilling thing again as a
Christmas present, so I drop you a line not to buy something I don't
want, as it is only thirty-nine days to Christmas. I think I'll have a
book again, but not a fairy tale or any of that sort, nor the Swiss
Family Robinson, nor any of the old books. There is a rattling story
called Kidnapped, by H. Rider Haggard, but it is only five shillings,
so if you thought of it you could make up the six shillings by giving me
a football belt. Last year you gave me The Formation of Character, and
I read it with great mental improvement and all that, but this time I
want a change, namely, (1) not a fairy tale, (2) not an old book, (3)
not mental improvement book. Don't fix on anything without telling me
first what it is. Tell William John I walked into Darky and settled him
in three rounds. Best regards to Mr. Gilray and the others.
II.
_November 19th_.
DEAR UNCLE:--Our preceptor is against us writing letters he doesn't see,
so I have to carry the paper to the dormitory up my waistcoat and write
there, and I wish old Poppy smoked the Arcadia Mixture to make him more
like you. Never mind about the football belt, as I got Johnny Fox's for
two white mice; so I don't want Kidnapped, which I wrote about to you,
as I want you to stick to six-shilling book. There is one called Dead
Man's Rock that Dickson Secundus has heard about, and it sounds well;
but it is never safe to go by the name, so don't buy it till I hear more
about it. If you see biographies of it in the newspapers you might send
them to me, as it should be about pirates by the title, but the author
does not give his name, which is rather suspicious. So, remember, don't
buy it yet, and also find out price, whether illustrated, and how many
pages. Ballantyne's story this year is about the fire-brigade; but I
don't think I'll have it, as he is getting rather informative, and I
have one of his about the fire-brigade already. Of course I don't fix
not to have it, only don't buy it at present. Don't buy Dead Man's
Rock either. I am working diligently, and tell the housekeeper my socks
is all right. We may fix on Dead Man's Rock, but it is best not to be
in a hurry.
III.
_November 24th_.
DEAR UNCLE:--I don't think I'll have Dead Man's Rock, as Hope has two
stories out this year, and he is a safe man to go to. The worst of it is
that they are three-and-six each, and Dickson Secundus says they are
continuations of each other, so it is best to have them both or neither.
The two at three-and-six would make seven shillings, and I wonder if you
would care to go that length this year. I am getting on first rate with
my Greek, and will do capital if my health does not break down with
overpressure. Perhaps if you bought the two you would get them for 6s.
6d. Or what do you say to the housekeeper's giving me a shilling of it,
and not sending the neckties?
IV.
_November 26th._
DEAR UNCLE:--I was disappointed at not hearing from you this morning,
but conclude you are very busy. I don't want Hope's books, but I think
I'll rather have a football. We played Gloucester on Tuesday and beat
them all to sticks (five goals two tries to one try!!!). It would cost
7s. 6d., and I'll make up the one-and-six myself out of my pocket-money;
but you can pay it all just now, and then I'll pay you later when I am
more flush than I am at present. I'd better buy it myself, or you might
not get the right kind, so you might send the money in a postal order by
return. You get the postal orders at the nearest postoffice, and inclose
them in a letter. I want the football at once. (1) Not a book of any
kind whatever; (2) a football, but I'll buy it myself; (3) price 7s.
6d.; (4) send postal order.
V.
_November 29th._
DEAR UNCLE:--Kindly inform William John that I am in receipt of his
favor of yesterday prox., and also your message, saying am I sure it is
a football I want. I have to inform you that I have changed my mind and
think I'll stick to a book (or two books according to price), after all.
Dickson Secundus has seen a newspaper biography of Dead Man's Rock and
it is ripping, but, unfortunately, there is a lot in it about a girl. So
don't buy Dead Man's Rock for me. I told Fox about Hope's two books
and he advises me to get one of them (3s. 6d.), and to take the rest of
the money (2s. 6d.) in cash, making in all six shillings. I don't know
if I should like that plan, though fair to both parties, as Dickson
Secundus once took money from his father instead of a book and it went
like winking with nothing left to show for it; but I'll think it over
between my scholastic tasks and write to you again, so do nothing till
you hear from me, and mind I don't want football.
VI.
_December 3d_.
DEAR UNCLE:--Don't buy Hope's books. There is a grand story out by
Jules Verne about a man who made a machine that enabled him to walk on
his head through space with seventy-five illustrations; but the worst of
it is it costs half a guinea. Of course I don't ask you to give so much
as that; but it is a pity it cost so much, as it is evidently a ripping
book, and nothing like it. Ten-and-six is a lot of money. What do you
think? I inclose for your consideration a newspaper account of it,
which says it will fire the imagination and teach boys to be manly and
self-reliant. Of course you could not give it to me; but I think it
would do me good, and am working so hard that I have no time for
physical exercise. It is to be got at all booksellers. P.S.--Fox has
read Dead Man's Rock, and likes it A 1.
VII.
_December 4th._
DEAR UNCLE:--I was thinking about Jules Verne's book last night after I
went to bed, and I see a way of getting it which both Dickson Secundus
and Fox consider fair. I want you to give it to me as my Christmas
present for both this year and next year. Thus I won't want a present
from you next Christmas; but I don't mind that so long as I get this
book. One six-shilling book this year and another next year would come
to 12s., and Jules Verne's book is only 10s. 6d., so this plan will save
you 1s. 6d. in the long run. I think you should buy it at once, in case
they are all sold out before Christmas.
VIII.
_December 5th._
MY DEAR UNCLE:--I hope you haven't bought the book yet, as Dickson
Secundus has found out that there is a shop in the Strand where all the
books are sold cheap. You get threepence off every shilling, so you
would get a ten-and-six book for 7s. 10-1/2d. That will let you get me
a cheapish one next year, after all. I inclose the address.
IX.
_December 7th_.
DEAR UNCLE:--Dickson Secundus was looking to-day at The Formation of
Character, which you gave me last year, and he has found out that it
was bought in the shop in the Strand that I wrote you about, so you got
it for 4s. 6d. We have been looking up the books I got from you at other
Christmases, and they all have the stamp on them which shows they were
bought at that shop. Some of them I got when I was a kid, and that was
the time you gave me 2s. and 3s. 6d. books; but Dickson Secundus and Fox
have been helping me to count up how much you owe me as follows:
_Nominal_ _Price_
_Price_ _Paid_
_£_ _s._ _d._ _s._ _d._
1850 Sunshine and Shadow 0 2 0 1 6
1881 Honesty Jack 0 2 0 1 6
1882 The Boy Makes the Man 0 3 6 2 7-1/2
1883 Great Explorers 0 3 6 2 7-1/2
1884 Shooting the Rapids 0 3 6 2 7-1/2
1885 The Boy Voyagers 0 5 0 3 9
1886 The Formation of Character 0 6 0 4 6
____________ ___________
1 5 6 19 1-1/2
0 19 1-1/2
_____________
0 6 4-1/2
Thus 6s. 4-1/2d. is the exact sum. The best plan will be for you not to
buy anything for me till I get my holidays, when my father is to bring
me to London. Tell William John I am coming.
P.S.--I told my father about the Arcadia Mixture, and that is why he is
coming to London.
More
-
Man Know Thy-self
Know this and be assured quite well, All evil comes when man hath fell. Fell from pu... A Covnter-blaste To Tobacco
That the manifolde abuses of this vile custome of _Tobacco_ taking, may the better be espied, it is fit, that first you enter into consideration both of the first originall thereof, and likewise of the reasons of the first entry thereof into this ... A Face That Haunted Marriot
This is not a love affair, Marriot shouted, apologetically. He had sat the others out again, but when I saw his intention I escaped into my bedroom, and now refused to come out. Look here, he cried, changing his tone, if you don't come out I'l... Abuse And Praise Of Tobacco
This is my friend Abel, an honest fellow; He lets me have good tobacco. BEN JONSON, _The Alchemist._ The druggists and other tradesmen who sold tobacco in Elizabethan and Jacobean days had every provision for the convenience... Arcadians At Bay
I have said that Jimmy spent much of his time in contributing to various leading waste-paper baskets, and that of an evening he was usually to be found prone on my hearth-rug. When he entered my room he was ever willing to tell us what he thought ... Cavalier And Roundhead Smokers
A custom lothsome to the eye, hatefull to the Nose, harmefull to the braine, dangerous to the lungs, and in the blacke stinking fume thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Stigian smoke of the pit that is bottomelesse.--J... Early Victorian Days
Scent to match thy rich perfume Chemic art did ne'er presume Through her quaint alembic strain, None so sovereign to the brain. LAMB, _A Farewell to Tobacco._ The social attitude towards smoking in early Victorian d... English-grown Tobacco
Pettigrew asked me to come to his house one evening and test some tobacco that had been grown in his brother's Devonshire garden. I had so far had no opportunity of judging for myself whether this attempt to grow tobacco on English soil was to suc... Gilray
Gilray is an actor, whose life I may be said to have strangely influenced, for it was I who brought him and the Arcadia Mixture together. After that his coming to live on our stair was only a matter of rooms being vacant. We met first in the... Gilray's Dream
Conceive me (said Gilray, with glowing face) invited to write a criticism of the Critics' Dramatic Society for the _Standard_. I select the _Standard_, because that paper has treated me most cruelly. However, I loathe them all. My dream is the fol... Gilray's Flower-pot
I charge Gilray's unreasonableness to his ignoble passion for cigarettes; and the story of his flower-pot has therefore an obvious moral. The want of dignity he displayed about that flower-pot, on his return to London, would have made any one sorr... His Wife's Cigars
Though Pettigrew, who is a much more successful journalist than Jimmy, says pointedly of his wife that she encourages his smoking instead of putting an end to it, I happen to know that he has cupboard skeletons. Pettigrew has been married for y... House-boat Arcadia
Scrymgeour had a house-boat called, of course, the _Arcadia_, to which he was so ill-advised as to invite us all at once. He was at that time lying near Cookham, attempting to catch the advent of summer on a canvas, and we were all, unhappily, abl... How Heroes Smoke
On a tiger-skin from the ice-clad regions of the sunless north recline the heroes of Ouida, rose-scented cigars in their mouths; themselves gloriously indolent and disdainful, but perhaps huddled a little too closely together on account of the lim... Jimmy
With the exception of myself, Jimmy Moggridge was no doubt the most silent of the company that met so frequently in my rooms. Just as Marriot's eyebrows rose if the cane chair was not empty when he strode in, Jimmy held that he had a right to the ... Jimmy's Dream
I see before me (said Jimmy, savagely) a court, where I, James Moggridge, am arraigned on a charge of assaulting the editor of the _St. John's Gazette_ so as to cause death. Little interest is manifested in the case. On being arrested I had pleade... Later Victorian Days
When life was all a summer day, And I was under twenty, Three loves were scattered in my way-- And three at once are plenty. Three hearts, if offered with a grace, One thinks not of refusing. The task in this esp... Marriot
I have hinted that Marriot was our sentimental member. He was seldom sentimental until after midnight, and then only when he and I were alone. Why he should have chosen me as the pail into which to pour his troubles I cannot say. I let him talk... Matrimony And Smoking Compared
The circumstances in which I gave up smoking were these: I was a mere bachelor, drifting toward what I now see to be a tragic middle age. I had become so accustomed to smoke issuing from my mouth that I felt incomplete without it; indeed, the ti... My Brother Henry
Strictly speaking I never had a brother Henry, and yet I cannot say that Henry was an impostor. He came into existence in a curious way, and I can think of him now without malice as a child of smoke. The first I heard of Henry was at Pettigrew'... My First Cigar
It was not in my chambers, but three hundred miles further north, that I learned to smoke. I think I may say with confidence that a first cigar was never smoked in such circumstances before. At that time I was a school-boy, living with my bro... My Last Pipe
The night of my last smoke drew near without any demonstration on my part or on that of my friends. I noticed that none of them was now comfortable if left alone with me, and I knew, I cannot tell how, that though they had too much delicacy to ... My Pipes
In a select company of scoffers my brier was known as the Mermaid. The mouth-piece was a cigarette-holder, and months of unwearied practice were required before you found the angle at which the bowl did not drop off. This brings me to one of... My Smoking-table
Had it not been for a bootblack at Charing Cross I should probably never have bought the smoking-table. I had to pass that boy every morning. In vain did I scowl at him, or pass with my head to the side. He always pointed derisively (as I thoug... My Tobacco-pouch
I once knew a lady who said of her husband that he looked nice when sitting with a rug over him. My female relatives seemed to have the same opinion of my tobacco-pouch; for they never saw it, even in my own room, without putting a book or pamp... Not The Arcadia
Those who do not know the Arcadia may have a mixture that their uneducated palate loves, but they are always ready to try other mixtures. The Arcadian, however, will never help himself from an outsider's pouch. Nevertheless, there was one black... Page Six |
stimulus. Alcohol, ever true to its companion, steps in and supplies this artificial stimulus. It is a scientific fact that tobacco is responsible for more drunkards than alcohol. I know from my own experience, that smoking natura... Pettigrew's Dream
My dream (said Pettigrew) contrasts sadly with those of my young friends. They dream of revenge, but my dream is tragic. I see my editor writing my obituary notice. This is how it reads: Mr. Pettigrew, M.A., whose sad death is recorded in anothe... Preface
This is the first attempt to write the history of smoking in this country from the social point of view. There have been many books written about tobacco--F.W. Fairholt's History of Tobacco, 1859, and the Tobacco (1857) of Andrew Steinmetz, are st... Primus
Primus is my brother's eldest son, and he once spent his Easter holidays with me. I did not want him, nor was he anxious to come, but circumstances were too strong for us, and, to be just to Primus, he did his best to show me that I was not in his... Primus To His Uncle
Though we all pretended to be glad when Primus went, we spoke of him briefly at times, and I read his letters aloud at our evening meetings. Here is a series of them from my desk. Primus was now a year and a half older and his spelling had impr... Scrymgeour
Scrymgeour was an artist and a man of means, so proud of his profession that he gave all his pictures fancy prices, and so wealthy that he could have bought them. To him I went when I wanted money--though it must not be thought that I borrowed. In... Signs Of Revival
Some sigh for this and that My wishes don't go far; The world may wag at will, So I have my cigar. THOMAS HOOD. The revival of smoking among those who were most amenable to the dictates of fashion, and among whom c... Smoking By Women
Ladies, when pipes are brought, affect to swoon; They love no smoke, except the smoke of Town. ISAAC HAWKINS BROWNE, _circa_ 1740. A story is told of Sir Walter Raleigh by John Aubrey which seems to imply that at first women... Smoking In Church
For thy sake, TOBACCO, I Would do anything but die. CHARLES LAMB, _A Farewell to Tobacco._ The use of tobacco in churches forms a curious if short chapter in the social history of smoking. The earliest reference to such a pr... Smoking In The Restoration Period
The Indian weed withered quite Green at noon, cut down at night, Shows thy decay-- All flesh is hay: Thus think, then drink tobacco. GEORGE WITHER (1588-1667). The year 1660 that restored Charles II t... Smoking In The Twentieth Century
Sweet when the morn is grey; Sweet, when they've clear'd away Lunch; and at close of day Possibly sweetest. C.S. CALVERLEY. Tobacco is once more triumphant. The cycle of three hundred years is complete. Sin... Smoking Under King William Iii And Queen Anne
Hail! social pipe--thou foe of care, Companion of my elbow-chair; As forth thy curling fumes arise, They seem an evening sacrifice-- An offering to my Maker's praise, For all His benefits and grace. SIR SAMUEL ... Smoking Unfashionable: Early Georgian Days
Lord Fopling smokes not--for his teeth afraid; Sir Tawdry smokes not--for he wears brocade. ISAAC HAWKINS BROWNE, _circa_ 1740. With the reign of Queen Anne tobacco had entered on a period, destined to be of long duration, w... Smoking Unfashionable: Later Georgian Days
Says the Pipe to the Snuff-box, I can't understand What the ladies and gentlemen see in your face, That you are in fashion all over the land, And I am so much fallen into disgrace. WILLIAM COWPER. (From a letter... The Arcadia Mixture
Darkness comes, and with it the porter to light our stair gas. He vanishes into his box. Already the inn is so quiet that the tap of a pipe on a window-sill startles all the sparrows in the quadrangle. The men on my stair emerged from their hol... The Arcadia Mixture Again
One day, some weeks after we left Scrymgeour's house-boat, I was alone in my rooms, very busy smoking, when William John entered with a telegram. It was from Scrymgeour, and said, You have got me into a dreadful mess. Come down here first train... The First Pipes Of Tobacco Smoked In England
Before the wine of sunny Rhine, or even Madam Clicquot's, Let all men praise, with loud hurras, this panacea of Nicot's. The debt confess, though none the less they love the grape and barley, Which Frenchmen owe to good Nicot, and En... The Ghost Of Christmas Eve
A few years ago, as some may remember, a startling ghost-paper appeared in the monthly organ of the Society for Haunting Houses. The writer guaranteed the truth of his statement, and even gave the name of the Yorkshire manor-house in which the ... The Grandest Scene In History
Though Scrymgeour only painted in watercolors, I think--I never looked at his pictures--he had one superb idea, which we often advised him to carry out. When he first mentioned it the room became comparatively animated, so much struck were we a... The Murder In The Inn
Sometimes I think it is all a dream, and that I did not really murder the waits. Perhaps they are living still. Yet the scene is very vivid before me, though the affair took place--if it ever did take place--so long ago that I cannot be expected t... The Perils Of Not Smoking
When the Arcadians heard that I had signed an agreement to give up smoking they were first incredulous, then sarcastic, then angry. Instead of coming, as usual, to my room, they went one night in a body to Pettigrew's, and there, as I afterward... The Romance Of A Pipe-cleaner
We continued to visit the _Arcadia_, though only one at a time now, and Gilray, who went most frequently, also remained longest. In other words, he was in love again, and this time she lived at Cookham. Marriot's love affairs I pushed from me w... Tobacco From A Moral Stand-point |
Go to our jails and penitentiaries and you will find their inmates, almost to a man, tobacco-eate... Tobacco Triumphant: Smoking Fashionable And Universal
Tobacco engages Both sexes, all ages, The poor as well as the wealthy; From the court to the cottage, From childhood to dotage, Both those that are sick and the healthy. _Wits' Recreations_, 1640. This... Tobacconists' Signs
I would enjoin every shop to make use of a sign which bears some affinity to the wares in which it deals. ADDISON, _Spectator_, April 2, 1711. Shop-signs were one of the most conspicuous features of the streets of old London... Vanity All Is Vanity
TOBACCO ... What Could He Do?
This was another of Marriot's perplexities of the heart. He had been on the Continent, and I knew from his face, the moment he returned, that I would have a night of him. On the 4th of September, he began, playing agitatedly with my tobacco-... When My Wife Is Asleep And All The House Is Still
Perhaps the heading of this paper will deceive some readers into thinking that I smoke nowadays in camera. It is, I know, a common jest among smokers that such a promise as mine is seldom kept, and I allow that the Arcadians tempt me still. But...